"i don't know, sweetie"

so i can feel it.  i feel that unorganized, super laid back, craziness.  when i let everything go.  we missed bedtime, i didn't do the dishes after our snack (we've been snacking for the last two hours).  the kids have been climbing on the cupboards helping themselves to whatever their body craves....and I am not saying a word. because sometimes it feels good to be unorthodox.  and truly, in our house, this is when magic happens.

when things are normal and orderly around here, our creativity is dampered and i, we, are uninspired.  but it is now, in this moment:

[emma and ella are making frozen, chocolate covered banana pops without any super vision in their nice new outfits they got for christmas because no, we have not even gotten into jammies yet.  tonight we are burning the midnight oil, whatever that means. joshua who has been on a "my mom won't let me have pop anymore" kick, just chugged a can of pop.]

and you see my friends, this is why i am my own worst enemy.  just when things are seriously near perfect-clean house, nutritious diets, accomplished school days, clean laundry....i fall apart.  does this happen to you?  the kicker of the whole thing is that it feels right!  are we really wired to work so hard and do our best and then let it unravel?  maybe this is our entertainment.  maybe this is what we live for-perfection, imperfection, perfected again.

anyway, we did binge homeschooling today (which is probably what has led to this unravel).  we learned until we couldn't learn anymore.  sat in our classroom on and off again from noon-nine tonight. and throughout our day of reading, comprehending, geometry, quizzes, drawing trains, learning about freight, figuring out what soil is made of, organizing our dvd collection and so on, i came to the conclusion that the value of a question in which is produced by our offspring is priceless.

what triggered this thought was the kid's continuous questions about dinosaurs.  i have patience with the first few questions that they ask but by the fourth or fifth one i am irritated.  today at lunch i realized my frustration doesn't come from them asking questions but rather my lack of knowledge on the topic.  and i just want to say that it is 100% ok to not have an answer to your child's questions.  in fact i think it's rather important for your kids to see that their parents-the ones who know everything and mean so much to them-don't know sometimes.  it is 100% ok to say "I don't know" to your child....under these conditions...

a)  when your child asks you if a carasaurus and a truckasaurus are related and you are thinking in your head "christ, what are they talking about-those aren't even dinosaurs...i hate dinosaurs" but instead, the words that cross your lips as you look your child in the eyes are "Wow, that's impressive!  I love the way you are thinking, but honestly, I don't know!" with a smile on your face!

our job is not to ridicule our children when they ask senseless questions, it's to build them up!  even over the silliest thing-be amazed. because it is amazing. the sense of wonder.  precisely one of the greatest qualities of a child is their curiosity. something that the daily grind has driven out of our adult souls.  we don't wonder anymore, so just because we don't, doesn't mean youngsters should be shamed for doing so.

it is 100% ok to say "i don't know" to one of your child's questions if

b) you can teach them how to learn.  don't learn for them or tell them what they should be learning.  just show them how to learn.  when a question can't be answered by you, let them know that you care and you want to help them find the answer.  tell them what you do when you don't know the answer to something.  do you pray about it? do you do a google search? or better yet, do you dig deep into a book for the answer?  this seems simple to us, but when your child hears you telling them "when i need help or don't know something this is what i do".  take them to the library.  teach them that they own the library just as much as the librarian does and you have the right to be given a tour of the library and to be taught how to look something up.

this is when the magic happens.  i think it's called humility.  "i don't know" is ok, but too often we are afraid to admit it.  why are we?  the world is constantly changing, there is so much out there. do we really think that people and kids think we have all the answers?  if you think you have all the answers, talk to yourself and tell yourself to "cool it".  we don't have all the answers. we are all still learning and should be. we are never too old to learn!

so if you hear a child ask a question and see their parent, the one they love and trust, ridicule them because they too don't know the answer, speak up!  tell the child they are smart and that is a great question and tell the parent they better get that child to the library!