I wake up just moments before my little ones if I am lucky and enjoy that first cup of mud in peace and quiet. I never thought I needed quiet time until I experienced it. As a mother you are able to tune out so much, that even the sounds of the plastic recorder and toy microphone sound quiet.
A friend of mine posted this as her Facebook status:
"Why do we as women, bring down other women, knowing how HARD life can be for a woman?"
Yeah, great question! Why do we?
After my cup of coffee in silence grew empty, the day began. I knew I did not have time to sit and have another cup and read from my favorite websites. I knew I did not have time to update my blog, my facebook pages or check my e-mail. Yesterday, I did not get on the internet once until 2 a.m. That was the first I had sat down. Every body has a full plate, everybody's life is hard. We know this! Yet why do we never feel like we are giving enough?
Yesterday, I made a homemade breakfast for everyone, served them like they were guests. I do this with a smile as it brings me great joy to give them food and drink. We moved from the dining room to the classroom. In a days time, I home educated 3 children, made sure my son got to watch his favorite movie while I was teaching about pronouns in the other room. I kept my daughter who was upstairs getting ready on track by hollering up the steps every 5 minutes in between lessons with my oldest. I gave my son a snack, just in time to enjoy and keep him happy for a few moments longer while I finished the lesson on pronouns. When it came time for my oldest to do a worksheet on the lesson, something she could do independentenly, I snuck out for a moment-not for a smoke break or a quick phone call but to throw another load of laundry in the washer and fold and put away the stuff from the dryer. I returned to irritable children so I cut up apple slices and served cheese as a snack to keep them content while we continued with our lessons. I talked about pennies, nickels, dimes and gave examples with patience. I gave a worksheet on the lesson then moved to my oldest child's attention and talked about estimation and mental math with hundreds. We mastered the concept and I gave her a worksheet. My son is saying my name in the other room. Remembering I had not received a water bill in over a month, I told my son "One second baby, I am coming" I called the water office to straighten that out before we got our water shut off. I waited on hold for 20 minutes so with my phone to my ear, I taught about contemporary art and how to do a self portrait-what you can learn about a person from a self portrait and laid out art supplies for my oldest to do a self portrait project. As she drew, I talked to the lady at the water office.My son was yelling my name still. Once off the phone, I realized what a blessing running water was and remembered that I had not done the dishes from breakfast and snack. I read out loud to the kids and asked them to talk with me about the story-setting, characters, the author, while I loaded plate by late into my dishwasher. The dishes were clean.My son needed me. The kids needed a break. I held my son and kissed him and sang to him and sat him at the table. I heated up organic grilled chicken breast and sliced mangos and kiwi up for a healthy lunch. One child did not eat well, so I made another sandwich to fill their belly. We needed fresh air. My son needed me to sit down with him and nurse him, hold him and remind him that he too was special and important. I need out of the house. Aha-I will take them on a walk around the neighborhood. But first-I need to catheterize my disabled son, remind the kids to feed the cat and dog and tell everyone to get shoes on. After I take care of my son, I find kids without shoes on because they can't find their favorite purple sparkly sandals. I find everyones favorite shoes and slip shoes on myself remembering that though I did manage to squeeze a shower in I did not put a bra on because there weren't any clean because I always do my laundry last to make sure every one else, has the clothes they need for the next day. I ran upstairs (my son began to cry because he wants me to hold him and take him with me every room I go) and picked up the stinky bra off my floor from the day before. I come back down and get out to the garage with my son whom is heavy and can't walk to find that the wagon is locked in the shed out back and both dog leashes are in the car which my husband took to work. Take my son back inside put him down so I can find something else to use for the leash. He cries because he wants me to hold him and carry him every where I go. My oldest retrieves the wagon for me and I am sure to praise her so she doesn't feel unappreciated and I realize my son, who can't sit up, needs his special booster seat to sit in the wagon. I beg my youngest daughter to please get her brothers booster and wait on her to find it successfully without being distracted along the way and she returned and I praise her to make sure she doesn't feel unappreciated. Got my son in the special seat in the wagon and remembered he is suffering sensory processing issues and can't bare the sun in his eyes. I go dig out sunglasses and a hat and he is ready. Now I find an old chain to use as a leash and away we go. My youngest daughter wants to ride her bike, but I would really like her to walk with us so we can keep the same pace and get some good exercise. She wants to ride so I patiently explain the importance of exercise and walking and how our heart works, all the while keeping a calm tone to prevent her from arguing and getting mad that she can't ride her bike, and she then agrees to join us in walking with just a little attitude, but not much.
Before we left for the walk I had my children recite this with me:
We are going for a walk
It is going to be fun
We are taking a break from school
When we get back
I will do my lessons
I will not take off on my bike
I will not argue with my mom
I will be thankful that I got to go outside
And get busy with my lessons for just a little while longer
The walk was amazing. Once we finally got moving, it was worth it. It always is. We practiced using cardinal directions rather than saying turn right we would say go East on 2nd street. We learned what the words real estate mean. We learned about storm sewers. I used house numbers instead of house colors "At house number 5124 cross the road" so they could learn how useful and important a house number was. I held their hands when they would get close to me, squeezed them tight and said I love you. Told my daughter she sure was a fast runner but reminded her about Tortoise and The Hare and that slow and steady wins the race. We talked about how that is true in so many aspects in life. When we got home, she repeated the phrase "slow and steady wins the race" and I knew she really understood the moral. We talked about pedometers and our heart again, and how lucky we were that we could go for a walk. We were thankful for freedom again.
By this point, I am only half way through the day.
The day progressed at full speed, washing, drying and folding 7-8 loads of laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher twice and making several more meals and snacks. Running to the store, making a favorite dessert for my mother's birthday, giving 4 baths (one child needed 2) teaching the kids why lying doesn't work, painting my nails, checking e-mails, packing lunches, watering my garden....it never ends.
By 1 a.m. my legs grew tired. All three of my precious babies fell asleep in my bed as I folded more laundry and when I was done I sat on my bedroom floor not to interrupt any sleeping souls and read for 2 hours. I read about breastfeeding, bowel programs for children with spina bifida, sensory issues in children, latex allergies in spina bifida....I answered questions of mothers about latch, sore nipples and crying it out method. I, I finally crawled in bed with my babies and thought of everything I needed to do yet.
Notice I didn't mention my husband...he worked 16 hours yesterday and as he walked in the door, I walked out to go to the store. When I returned he had one eye open and one eye shut and was out for the night. He too, is exhausted!
I didn't get it all in. I am still behind.
So
"Why do we as women, bring down other women, knowing how HARD life can be for a woman?"
This was my reply to her status:
"why do we know the truth, we know how hard it is but we still work ourselves to death only to still be a day late and a dollar short. i wake up every morning with my legs aching from the day befores duties and go at it again full force the next day. at the end of the day, someone always needs or wants something that you have not gotten to yet (ie: their favorite jeans washed, batteries, cupcakes you promised last week.) I know i am only one person, and my family understands-but i still vision the women who irons and has a sparkling floor. i vision that her family is so much happier that they can walk in the door and not trip on a pile of shoes or go to the fridge to not find the milk gallon empty-ugh! does that woman with the homemade chocolate cake, sparkling floors and pressed clothes exist? and if so, is she happy? feeling like half a woman these days!
So today, be the change you want to see in the world. Stop judging women with wrinkly clothes, dirty kids and finger prints on her front door. Instead say, "She is just like me, trying so hard at doing everything right and still can't seem to get it all in."
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